A top relationship expert has revealed the one clear sign that your love might be headed for trouble. Dr. John Gottman, who’s been happily married for 37 years and studied thousands of couples, says he can spot divorce-bound pairs with 91% accuracy (Randy Shropshire/Getty Images). His warning about a single toxic behavior is a must-know for anyone wanting to keep their relationship strong and happy.
A recent Reddit thread asked, “What’s an early clue a relationship won’t work?” One user shared how their ex sighed and rolled her eyes at their jokes, unlike others who laughed. This led to a bigger conversation about contempt, which Gottman calls a relationship’s worst enemy. He’s famously said, “Contempt is sulfuric acid for love,” because it tears apart the trust and closeness couples need (Randy Shropshire/Getty Images).
Contempt is when you act like your partner’s beneath you, like sarcastically saying, “Oh, shocking! Should I never leave the house?” when they suggest staying in instead of going out. A Reddit commenter noted that an eye-roll can flash contempt in a moment, signaling trouble. Gottman’s research, based on watching over 3,000 couples, shows this attitude can doom even the best relationships.
Dr. Julie Gottman, John’s wife and a skilled therapist, says contempt is so harmful because it cuts us off from the connection we need to feel whole (Randy Shropshire/Getty Images). Humans thrive on love and belonging, and contempt pushes us toward loneliness. She suggests showing appreciation—like noticing and praising your partner’s efforts—to build a stronger bond and keep love alive.
To keep your relationship healthy, avoid contempt at all costs. Respect and kindness, even in tough moments, are what make love last. Gottman’s years of study prove that contempt can destroy a couple’s connection, but care and appreciation can save it. So, skip the eye-rolls and choose words that lift your partner up instead.
