Laughter has a way of lifting our spirits and making our day a little brighter. Whether you’re a fan of witty one-liners or silly puns, humor has a way of bringing people together and making us forget our worries. In this collection of 11 jokes, we’ve got a mix of silly, clever, and downright ridiculous jokes to tickle your funny bone.
From a duck in a bar to a centipede with a penchant for beer, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh your way through these hilarious jokes.
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a ham sandwich. The bartender is shocked, but the duck replies, “That’s pretty obvious.” When asked what brings him to the bar, the duck replies, “I’m a plasterer.” Who knew ducks could be so handy?
A man buys a talking centipede for $100, but when he gets home, the centipede doesn’t say a word. When he shouts, “Want to go get a beer?” the centipede finally pipes up, “Be quiet, I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!” Who knew centipedes could be so fashion-conscious?
An engineer dies and goes to Hell, where he promptly gets to work fixing the air conditioning, filling the pool, and repairing the roads. When God finds out, he’s not pleased and demands that the devil send the engineer back to Heaven. The devil replies, “No way, we like him here.” Guess even Hell needs a handyman sometimes.
A small-town boy becomes a big-shot lawyer and returns to his hometown to open his own practice. When a potential client walks in, the lawyer pretends to be on the phone, shouting about million-dollar deals and court cases. But when the client asks to install a phone line, the lawyer’s facade comes crashing down.
A city boy moves to the countryside and decides to try his hand at farming. He buys 100 baby chicks, then 200, and finally 500. When the store owner asks if he’s doing well, the man replies, “Nope, I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.” Guess farming isn’t as easy as it looks.
Two bachelors are chatting about cooking when one admits he can’t make anything from his cookbook. When asked why, he replies, “Every recipe starts with ‘Get a clean plate and…'” Guess some guys just aren’t cut out for cooking.
A new office worker is puzzled by the shredder and asks a secretary for help. When she puts his report in the shredder, he asks, “Where do the copies come out?” Guess some people just aren’t familiar with office equipment.
A man gets lost in the desert and stumbles upon a small house. The owner, a kind and religious man, helps him recover and gives him directions to the nearest town. When the man asks to borrow a horse, the owner tells him to say “Thank God” to make it go and “Amen” to make it stop. But when the man gets on the horse and says “Thank God” repeatedly, he finds himself careening out of control towards a cliff.
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. As he’s drinking, he hears a voice say, “Nice tie!” and “I like your shirt!” But when he looks around, he realizes he’s alone with the bartender. When he asks the bartender about the voices, the bartender replies, “It’s the peanuts. They’re complimentary.” Guess some bars just like to make their customers feel special.
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I’ve got a problem. I’ve been feeling like a chicken lately.” The doctor replies, “Don’t worry, it’s just a fowl mood.” Guess some doctors just like to crack jokes.
These jokes may not have changed your life, but they probably made you smile. And that’s what laughter is all about – bringing a little joy and humor into our lives.
